Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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