the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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