Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
