i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
