she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
