How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
