i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
