do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
