These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
