some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
