Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We got so high we made milksteak
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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