The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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