I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
