I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
