I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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