if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
