K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
