Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
