White coat. Heels.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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