Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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