So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
