found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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