I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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