what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
