I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
