think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
