i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
