So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
