i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
