dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
