Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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