Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
