what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
