ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
