I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
