My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
