You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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