I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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