Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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