I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
