How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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