Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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