Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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