Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
