i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
