The maid of honor just puked.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
