She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
