She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
