ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
