Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
