It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
